How successful is Letter Box Friends?

We have had hundreds of relationships which have ‘developed’, some serious, and many, many weddings! Some members, tired of only socializing with married friends, have expanded their friendship group through Letter Box Friends. Members write to me often and let me know how they are faring. Their comments are very positive. Where a new relationship may not have worked out - members invariably return to us – knowing it is not the end of the line. There is somewhere to go to re-find Someone Special. We have many members who are referred onto us from other successful ex-members of Letter Box Friends.

How many people can I write to, from each newsletter?

As many as you feel you wish to write to. We suggest ten – twenty letters from your first newsletter – and then sit back and wait for those responses. You can then continue to write to those you feel you have “connected with”. To keep membership fees to a minimum, members include the correct number of free stamps when they send their letters to me, for forwarding onto other members.

What is the mailing procedure?

You send your letters to me, inside an envelope, with the correct number of loose stamps and I send them on to the members of your choice. This maintains your privacy until such a time as you wish to disclose your address to another member.
Our address - L.B.F. PO Box 2429 Ballarat Mail Centre, 3354

Can I have a long term ‘letter relationship’ with more than one person?

This is up to you. Some people choose to write to one person regularly. Others choose many until one stands out as being “the one”. Others might like to maintain many letter relationships. It also depends on how much time you have to put into your letter writing.

I’ve never been much of a letter writer. What do I say?

It doesn’t matter but you need to do more than just re-state your message. Members really look forward to your letters. That is why they have become members. They are more interested in the person you are than in your writing skills. Tell the person some things about yourself. Ask some questions about things you would like to know about the person you are writing to. This gives them some things to answer when they write back to you.

Is there an expectation if you develop a ‘letter relationship’ that we should eventually meet?

There are many different reasons why people have chosen to become a Letter Box Friend. Certainly most are hoping for a relationship and would like to meet after getting to know you through your letters. Some might want to meet at a later stage. Some simply aren’t sure yet – and are just prepared to see how things go. Some pass along a phone number after a few letters and chat for a while before meeting. You do only what you feel comfortable doing.

Does everybody answer letters?

Most do. We ask that people sign a statement committing to answer the letters they receive. If you do not feel suited and do not wish to pursue further letter writing with a particular member – politeness dictates you send along a “Thank you .. but I feel we are not suited. Good luck in the future” note. Occasionally members may run into problems – a family problem, too many letters, etc etc and may be slow in responding. Just move on if this happens and correspond with others who are answering your letters. If any member has a consistent record for not replying to mail – then there is little point in them paying a fee for membership and they are asked not to renew.

Why is there the need for such privacy? Why not just provide members names and addresses so we can write directly?

Most people who join Letter Box Friends join because they do not feel comfortable with the usual singles scene. They do not feel comfortable attending singles venues or joining Introduction Agencies. They are not however single by choice and would like to meet that ‘special friend’. It is not safe for many (particularly women) to hand out their private addresses to strangers – so we give you that opportunity to explore the singles scene without giving a name or address. We don’t always want others to know (particularly in small country towns) that we are actively seeking a partner and the use of a pen-name makes it private so your name will not be recognized in our Newsletter. Once you have developed a friendship with the person you are writing to, then it is up to you if you wish to provide them with any further information eg. phone number or address or full name.

What sort of pen-name should I use?

Most choose their own first name and an initial eg. Wendy S. or John T. Some others choose a name that they feel may better reflect their personality eg. Gypsy or Bazza. It’s up to what you would like. The pen-name protects your privacy and is also fun. You can pass on your real name whenever you wish.

Do you ever have any weirdo members?

I guess like everywhere else we probably do but they are few and far between. Members who make inappropriate sexual comments in letters are asked not to renew membership. Members on the receiving end of inappropriate letters should always let me know and I will write to the member concerned. Should it ever happen again, then membership is not renewed. If you suspect or feel “nervous” about any member for any reason whatsoever – then you cease writing to them or send a “Thanks… but no thanks letter”. You are anonymous so there are no repercussions to you. Over 4000 members I would have received no more than about 15-20 complaints about members.

Can I write to only people near where I live?

Yes. If you only want to write to people in a limited area then you can state that in your message. This can be limiting though. If Mr Right is living around the corner – you may have met him by now – that’s why it is good to look further a field. Many of our members are happy to consider traveling or moving if the right person comes along. Any new relationship may mean changes. You need to decide if finding someone to share your future years is worth traveling a few kms for. If not then state living areas of interest.

Is there an average time it takes to meet your Someone Special?
This differs amazingly. Probably 6-12months is the average time to write lots of letters, correspondence back and forth, maybe meet a few, find the Special Person, feel comfortable that you have found a positive relationship. In saying that however very few people are the average! Some have met the right person from their very first letter or within the first month or two. Others have taken a year or two. Some members are immediately very active and write lots and respond quickly and are prepared to meet. Others like to take it more slowly- wait to see who writes to them, needs more time to feel comfortable etc. and prefers not to hurry. So in the end it is up to the individual personality.

Does everyone meet their someone special?

No. Again personalities are so different. Some will drop out after 2 letters if neither is the right person. The opportunities are certainly there though for those that persevere and are prepared to implement the advice offered. Every month I receive numbers of letters from members who have established a new relationship – so it certainly does happen.

Why not just publish email addresses and let people talk direct?

For 2 main reasons. Firstly many people are not computer literate and so this would exclude many possible members from becoming involved. That person out there for you – may just not happen to use email. Everyone can manage some letter writing. Secondly -because we may not know that the person we are talking to is genuine. A member may show their newsletter to anyone who can just use your email to be troublesome and would be no guarantee of genuine single people. They may be already married or outside your age-group or just playing games and leaving nasty messages! When people pay a fee and provide their private details to me – they are genuine. If you form a letter-relationship with someone and you both have email, then you may privately exchange email addresses and correspond that way if you wish. We do not use phone numbers for the same reason.

What should I say in my personal message?

Your personal message is important. It attracts other members to write to you. Say something about yourself and something about the sort of person you are looking for. You need to mention your age and a general idea of your living location in brackets at the end. It must be no longer that 60 words. Here are some examples:

John B. I am a retired gent, age 71 and in good health. I recently lost my wife after a long and happy relationship. I would like to write to another L.B.F. – with a view to a possible relationship. I am kind and a tolerant person. I enjoy travel, music and movies. Please write. (Melb Sub)

Tony R. I’m a sole parent (male) with 2 school age children. I would like to correspond with a sole mum. We could compare notes! I am a teacher and am in my late 30’s. I live by the sea not too far from Warrnambool. Happy to write to any Victorian mums out there.

Suzanne S. I am a nurse in a country hospital and enjoy the company of good friends. I am single and looking for other single male friends. I enjoy dancing. I love animals and children. I’m a little shy but not so when I get to know people. I would like write to some-one, 25–40. Will answer all letters. (Central Vic)

Aquarius I am divorced and ready to resume my life! I am 42 and in pretty good order. I am a career woman and lead a busy life. I have a positive outlook. I live in Melbourne but would rather correspond with other males outside the metropolitan area. I would like to hear about country living.

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